Dear Lizzy,
What should I do if I see a man with his fly down on the bus? A normal-looking guy who appears to be on his way to work, but a total stranger. Should I tell him? This has, unfortunately, happened to me more than once.
Pant Problems
Dear Pant Problems,
My initial reaction to this is an immediate, “No.” There is basically no way to tell if a person is “normal” by looking at them, and since I don’t know your gender, I am just assuming my own. For women, approaching strange men for any reason is a risk. The man could be mean, scary, creepy or even just annoying. So why do it, if the only issue is the guy’s fly is down? He’s not in physical danger and he’s not hurting anyone, so my inclination is move on, don’t get involved.
However, say you are already chatting with this fellow or you make eye contact or you are just one of those people who really feels like you need to get involved. If you must, must say something, say it as you are exiting the bus, making sure the gentleman in question is staying on. This way at least you don’t risk getting involved in a lengthy conversation or sticking around if the guy is embarrassed.
Also, probably don’t use any of these.
I will say once a man came up behind me, panting after running after me on the street in downtown San Francisco. “Miss,” he said, “your dress is tucked into your tights.”
I remain forever grateful to that man. There are always exceptions to the rule. I give you permission to tell an adult woman her dress is tucked into her tights.
Good luck!
Lizzy
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