Dear Amy: A new friend has been helping me out after I became ill during a move. I’ve really appreciated her help.
She has decided that I can return her favor by watching her elderly cat for several days. I said, sure, I can go to her house and feed, water, and check on her cat.
However, she informed me that no, I would be keeping her cat at my house so he could have company.
This puts my own health at risk. I explained that besides the fur of a cat, their feces really trigger my allergies. She said I could keep the cat and his litter box upstairs and stay downstairs, but cleaning the space would mean wearing a mask and cleaning every soft item repeatedly. It would take months before I could use that space again.
She’s very stubborn and doesn’t seem to want to understand.
My allergies are such that a recent visit to another friend who has a cat caused a huge allergic reaction while sitting outside on the terrace. The cat merely walked behind me, triggering a reaction.
I live alone, 15 difficult miles to a hospital, and I don’t know how severe my allergies could be with daily interaction. I would give my friend any other help, but I can’t do this.
How do I get my point across?
– Allergic and Ill
Dear Allergic: It could be extremely stressful for an elderly cat to be transported to your home and shut up in a new space – with limited human interaction. I assume the cat would be much more comfortable in its own territory while his owner is away.
You need to marshal and deliver the power of a solid and polite: “No – I’m sorry but because of my severe allergies I can’t do that.”
Respectfully and repeatedly refusing this request is how you will get your point across.
Dear Amy: I volunteer at several public venues (including a zoo) where visitors frequently bring a pet that they claim is a service animal.
Oftentimes this is clearly a lie. For instance, today a visitor at the zoo claimed that her puppy was a service animal.
When I told her that animals weren’t allowed in this space, she took exception and dared me to quiz her on laws governing service animals.
Management has warned volunteers like me to avoid getting into tangles with these folks – unless the so-called service animal is creating a nuisance or is a danger.
When someone insists that their animal companion is a service animal or an “emotional support animal,” we are told to take them at their word. This is mostly to avoid the threat of a lawsuit.
Would you please remind your readers that a service animal is a specific legal entity? Pretending that your dog – or any other pet – is a service animal does the rest of us a disservice. It’s entitled, selfish behavior that potentially puts other people and other animals at risk.
And it’s not fair to other people who respect the rules and (reluctantly) leave their pet at home. This is part of the responsibility of having a pet.
If everyone brought their pet everywhere, we’d be seeing a lot more animals fighting and pooping, and a lot more allergic people sneezing.
There are many places where pets are welcome. But there are also many places where they would be better off at home.
– Animal Lover
Dear Animal Lover: I sincerely believe that all beloved pets are emotional support animals, but our love for our companion animals does not entitle us to bring them everywhere.
I am happy to publish this public service announcement.
The zoo where you volunteer is abiding by the Americans with Disabilities Act, which states that: “An individual with a disability accompanied by a service animal may NOT be asked to provide documentation of a disability, to answer questions regarding his or her disability or have the service animal demonstrate its work.”
I assume that this directive also applies to the broader category of “emotional support” animals.
Dear Amy: I just wanted to offer you an “attagirl” for your patient, kind, and wise advice to the anxious teenager who signed her question “Doubting Everything in Life.” In fact, because of this I look forward to your responses to kids who write to you.
– Grateful Fan
Dear Grateful: Questions from young people do seem to inspire the best from me. Thank you for your kind affirmation.
You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.
