Dear Amy: I am a major theater kid!
I love everything about the theater. In 2020, I won a regional award from my production of “Guys and Dolls” (I was Sarah).
This was right before COVID hit. In 2021, I started to do the school plays at my high school. I got some decent roles, but none as big as the ones I got before.
At our school’s show for “The Sound of Music” (I was Marta) a casting agent came to our play to cast people for an off-Broadway play.
I didn’t hear much about it and thought no one got picked. A few days later one of my friends told me they picked seven kids from our production. I was devastated, as I have been performing all my life, and thought I was really good at it.
This is even more disappointing, considering it is my junior year and I’m considering going to a college for theater.
Should I quit?
– Supporting Role Sadness
Dear Supporting Role: To respond, I’m turning to an expert, my friend Mo Rocca. Mo is a grown-up theater kid who is a sought-after actor on television and had a leading role in “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee” on Broadway. (Check out his great podcast, “Mobituaries.”)
Here’s Mo’s answer to you:
“You’re only getting started. If your career is a two-act musical, you’re still in the overture. Heck, the horns are just warming up – and we the audience are excited for what’s to come.
“Here’s the thing about casting that’s both reassuring and (yes) frustrating: There’s little you can do if you’re just not right for a part.
“I’m tall and skinny and so I’m never going to be cast as a sumo wrestler. On the bright side, when I audition for Bert the chimney sweep in a production of “Mary Poppins,” I know I’ll have a leg up on any sumo wrestler who might go out for the role.
All of this is to say that if you’ve got talent, your day will come. You just gotta stick it out. (The great Angela Lansbury was almost 40 when she was in her first musical.)
To be clear, there will be disappointments along the way – most auditions don’t work out – but try to use those experiences to make you a better actor.
One day you may play Liesl in “The Sound of Music” and you’ll have to act disappointed when you find out that Rolf is a Nazi.
Now go out there and break a leg! (And apologies to all the musical-loving sumo wrestlers out there. I meant no offense.)
I’ll be rooting for you from an aisle seat (I have long legs).”
I’d add to Mo’s response that these experiences in the theater – both the triumphs and the disappointments – will set you up beautifully for almost anything else you may pursue in life. On its own, participating in live theater (even as an audience member) will bring you many experiences of joyful inspiration.
Dear Amy: For a while now, I’ve had an issue where I start to explain something or ask a question, but the other person jumps in and gives me an answer that has nothing to do with my query.
I try to speak plainly and provide only relevant information, but it’s like people only hear the first five words and jump in to shut me off.
This happens with store clerks, relatives, coworkers, etc.
It feels like I spend so much time saying, “That wasn’t my question …!”
What do I have to do to get people to listen to me?
– Please Just Let Me Talk
Dear Talk: If this happens regularly with a specific individual, then you might ask the other person why this dynamic persists. They might tell you something about your own behavior that you aren’t aware of, for instance if your voice trails off at the end of a sentence, or if you “uptalk.”
More likely, this behavior is a reflection of how rude and impatient the rest of us have become.
If/when you are interrupted, perhaps you could also interrupt to say, “You’ve interrupted me; could you please wait until I’ve finished?”
Dear Amy: Count me as one more reader who appreciated your response to “Trying Not to Judge, the writer who was very much judging and blaming obese people for being fat.
Trying should stop judging and thank their lucky stars not to be saddled with this huge challenge.
– Been There
Dear Been There: I agree! Thank you.
You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.
