DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married to my husband for 21 years. I learned only a few days ago that he has a 9-year-old daughter from an affair he had. I never knew he’d been unfaithful. I’m disgusted about what he did. Now he wants his daughter to move in with us! I don’t hate her, but I’m not crazy about children.
Also, I’m the only one in the household who is employed. He doesn’t even try to find a job, and I’m treated like this live-in housekeeper, cleaning up his messes, etc. He refuses to help with housework. If the kid moves in, I’ll be cleaning up after two people, plus trying to cope with anxiety and depression due to past trauma.
I can only take so much. He keeps harassing me about having her stay, and he says that if I don’t accept her, I don’t accept him. I’m ready to ask him to leave, but what should I really do? — FED UP IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR FED UP: After 21 years of carrying the entire load for your freeloader husband, rather than shoulder even more responsibility by taking in this child, what you should really do is consult a lawyer. It’s time you started taking care of YOURSELF, because by now it should be apparent that he never will.
** ** ** Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
