DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are retired. A short while ago, a young couple moved in across the street. A few months later, my husband, who does yardwork for neighbors for extra money, started working in theirs. He never charged them for it, and even after they had the equipment to care for their yard, continued working there some of the time.
When “Cindy,” the wife, would be in the front yard, he frequently stopped his work to talk to her or stare at her. (He never stopped his work for anyone else.) Several times a week, I’d notice he was over at Cindy’s mowing the yards on each side of her house and would make excuses to check to see if anything else needed to be done. He confessed to me about looking through the fence one time, and I’m sure he has done it more.
One day, I caught him standing, fixated, watching her work in the front yard, completely oblivious to his surroundings. He has told me how pretty he thinks she is, and she IS attractive. She rarely starts a conversation or comes into our yard, but he goes into hers to talk at every opportunity. If I question him about it, he either lies to me, laughs at me or yells at me. What should I do? — HUMILIATED IN TEXAS
DEAR HUMILIATED: Your husband obviously has a crush on this young, pretty neighbor. Fortunately, from what you have written, it doesn’t appear to be reciprocated. If I were you, I’d develop a sense of humor about the situation. Tell him that if he’s planning to run away with her, you want advance notice so you can call your lawyer. Then bide your time because these kinds of crushes usually wane.
DEAR ABBY: A good friend of mine borrowed $5,000 because she said she was going to nursing school. I happily loaned it to her, but discovered later that she unenrolled several days after classes started. I asked her for the money back, but felt sorry for her because she was not working due to the pandemic.
Fast-forward a year: I have extensive dental work scheduled, so I finally asked her to repay me. I told her I would take payments, but I need a regular time of month, every month. She agreed to pay me back but made no mention of a timeline.
I am not sure how to approach her again. I’m not rich, and she knows it. We even shook hands on the agreement with her telling me she’d pay me back at a date that has now passed. Advice? — TOO GENEROUS IN OREGON
DEAR TOO GENEROUS: You are learning a very expensive lesson. With “friends” like this woman, you do not need enemies. Do not count on getting ANY money from her. Find another way to pay for that dental work because, without a repayment agreement IN WRITING, there’s no way you can force your “good friend” to do the right thing. Something to keep in mind for the future: Do not give anyone any more money than you can afford to lose.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
