Dear Readers: Many people had a lot to say in response to “Feeling Torn,” who is concerned about the prospect of the interfaith marriage. Below are some letters.
Dear Annie: While love may conquer all, if the parents of these two have voiced concerns, I’d want to make sure each partner feels strong enough to withstand the impact of parental feelings intensifying when grandchildren are involved. It seems to me that the bride proposes settling for less than she wants simply because she feels she won’t meet anyone else at the ripe old age of 29. That’s a red flag to me.
Dear Annie: I, too, am Catholic. I was married to a Christian who turned out to be a nightmare. We were married by a priest and a minister. The priest wound up married, and the minister got divorced. I wound up with a Catholic annulment. I fell in love with a family friend, who was Jewish, and we dated for seven years and were best friends. We had so much in common including family values, believing in charity and God. He loved my sons but never tried to interfere with their father. We were married by a justice of the peace with my parish priest as a witness and were very happy. I love his wonderful family and have celebrated many holidays, weddings, bar mitzvahs, bat mitzvahs, brises and naming ceremonies. The Jewish religion has done nothing but strengthened my own faith. His family continues to fully embrace me since he passed away almost five years ago. If you love this man, marry him. — Still in Love With a Jewish Man
Dear Annie: Many years ago, when marrying outside one’s religion was almost unheard of, my Catholic aunt and Protestant uncle came to an agreement that worked very well for them. They agreed that daughters would be raised in their mother’s church and sons would be raised in their father’s. They were blessed with one of each, both senior citizens now, with children and grandchildren of their own. Dear Annie: After reading the question of the Catholic woman and her Jewish boyfriend, I wanted to tell her it’s worked for my son and daughter-in-law for over 18 years. You need to talk about it and respect each other’s faith, as do the families of both.
My grandchildren went to Catholic school but do not practice either faith by attending services (they did in school and when they were younger). They have always had a Christmas tree and The Festival of Lights. Our granddaughter can say the prayers with her mom for Hanukkah. As grandparents, we have attended Jewish funerals and burials along with our own Catholic funerals and Masses.
If everyone can respect each other, there should be no problem. — Praying for Everyone
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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