DEAR MISS MANNERS: I frequent a pub daily. All ages and types of people gather at this venue. It is family-friendly.
The problem is the jukebox. It blasts songs that use curse words and clearly state acts of violence and degradation. These blare during all hours of business.
I asked the owner to please do something about it. She was wonderful. She put a filter on the jukebox, so we didn’t have to keep listening to this loud, degrading music.
The problem is, now I have a whole group of haters that are angry at having their choice of music taken from them.
My response has always been that everyone has the right to enjoy their time at that venue without disturbing lyrics loudly blasting away. I still get haters and anger. Is it possible to provide another reply that is polite that might work?
GENTLE READER: One is told to be magnanimous in victory, but what you really need to be is absent — if not literally, at least figuratively.
If you are asked directly about what happened (but not otherwise), Miss Manners recommends: “I completely understand. It’s just that the lyrics to some of those songs drive away the families and children — and they are such a big part of a family-friendly business.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Due to age and handicap, I am no longer able to do many housekeeping chores. I have moved into a condo and will be hiring a woman to come in once or twice a month to do those things I am no longer able to do. What do I do while she is cleaning? In warm weather, I can sit outside, but what about bad weather?
GENTLE READER: If you cannot be away from home, stay out from underfoot.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Could you please help me with grocery store behavior, specifically when to stop, yield and go?
Most grocery stores and some others are set up in a grid, with the perimeter aisle being the largest and, in my opinion, the main thoroughfare that gets the right of way. When I come out of an inner aisle, I always yield and make sure the coast is clear before entering the outer aisle.
I find most people don’t reciprocate, don’t pay attention, sometimes ram into my cart, and simply look at me with an addlepated, moronic stare. This is a thing — so much so that the Japanese have convex mirrors at the end of interior aisles, to see oncoming traffic. So, Miss Manners, I’d like you to weigh in on this subject.
GENTLE READER: It has been a few years since Miss Manners attended driver’s education, but she agrees that the etiquette has much in common with right-of-way, starting with both being frequently misunderstood.
Right-of-way means that the driver on the main roadway (your larger aisle) is not expected to slow down in anticipation of someone emerging from a side street (aisle); it is the side-street driver’s responsibility to look for an opening before entering the main thoroughfare.
But, as with driving, both parties have a responsibility to avoid a collision — which is more difficult to do when either or both parties are speeding past the low-cal section.Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
