I know you’ve got a lot to worry about. Global warming, taking the bins out for garbage day, what should we eat for dinner, the collapse of the economic system.
But what if I could give you one more thing?
According to a new study out from Bonusfinder, a website that helps you find online casinos, Oregon is among the top 10 states in the country where you might be living next to a serial killer, coming in exactly at number 10.
According to Bonusfinder, the odds of having a serial killer neighbor in Oregon are 1 in 353,345. For reference, odds-wise, the odds of getting struck by lightning in the U.S. are 1 in 15,300.
So, actually, no need to worry. Unless you live in Marcola where your chances increase dramatically to 1 in 580.
Now, OK citizens of Marcola, take a deep breath. Since I could not find a single mention of a serial killer born in Marcola, I asked Bonusfinder spokesperson Tori Saunders to explain.
According to Saunders, the serial killer connected to Marcola was Robert Wayne Danielson.
Danielson was, as you’d expect with a serial killer, a creep. He killed at least seven people in three states, including Oregon, starting with the Marcola murder in 1970 that put him in prison. After getting parole in the ‘80s, he killed more people. Ultimately, in 1995, he killed himself in prison while on death row.
“There are little known details about his childhood,” Saunders said. “There are some sources that locate him to Iowa state however with the limited stats and info on this, we took the next best location which was his first murder that occurred nearby Marcola.”
While I respect the fact that Bonusfinder had someone available to answer questions, this answer throws the whole study into question. Are we talking about where serial killers were born or where they killed? Because those are very different answers! How many serial killers kill in their own neighborhoods? Not many.
And, I hate to be a real Debbie Downer on this whole “study,” but aren’t all these known serial killers either dead or in jail? So your likelihood of living next to one of them is very low, unless you are reading this from a maximum security prison or Hell.
What I am saying is, thanks for reading and if you live in Marcola, lock your doors. Not because you might get serial killed but because everyone should lock their doors. This is the year 2023, not 1965. You don’t want people just wandering in off the street!
— Lizzy Acker
503-221-8052; lacker@oregonian.com; @lizzzyacker
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