2023 is almost through, and it’s leaving some absolutely outlandish, drinks-related news in its wake. So, as we round out the final days of the year and set our New Year’s resolutions, we’re taking a look back at the last 12 months of booze news — and let us tell you, it was a wild ride.
There were heists and high-speed chases over stolen Champagne, drunk animals and tequila bottles filled with liquid meth — and that’s just the beginning. Here are 10 of the most ridiculous booze news stories from 2023.
Look. Flying is stressful, and sometimes a pre-flight drink is necessary to take the edge off before reaching cruising altitude. On some airlines like American Airlines (AA), pre-flight drinks are even complementary for first-class passengers and are served based on flight attendants’ discretion. But when one man failed to receive a pre-take-off Gin & Tonic while aboard an AA flight in April, he threw a bit of a tantrum. In the five-minute viral video, which was posted to several social media platforms including Reddit’s r/PublicFreakout, the man can be seen speaking to officers who are requesting he deboard the plane. The man continued to argue with officers and attendants even after his luggage was removed from the plane, and was eventually forcibly removed by law enforcement. We imagine that G&T ended up being pricier than expected.
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You remember the iconic “Got Milk?” ad campaign of the ‘90s and early 2000s, right? Well, turns out the dairy industry was feeling pretty left out this year, with the recent explosion of plant milk hogging the spotlight. So, in April, the California Milk Processor Board (CMPB) partnered up with actress Aubrey Plaza to promote a plant milk of its own: Wood Milk, supposedly made from tree trunks, roots, and branches. While the product doesn’t actually exist, the advertisement was a spot-on spoof of the “Got Milk?” campaign, complete with “Got Wood?” T-shirts. The image of Plaza with a wood-pulp mustache was jarring, but the campaign aimed to help the CMPB plant 10,000 trees in partnership with non-profit One Tree Planted.
Yes, you read that right. While inspecting packages set for export in April, the Mexican Navy came across approximately 1,000 cardboard boxes filled with what they assumed to be añejo tequila. But the boxes — which contained 11,520 bottles — garnered the attention of a drug-detecting dog. When samples were examined at a nearby naval facility, it turned out the liquid wasn’t tequila at all — it was meth. While the nation’s naval officers had previously discovered liquid meth smuggled under the guise of other products such as windshield washer fluid, this incident is believed to be the first in which smugglers attempted to shuffle the concentrated drug over the border in a tequila costume.
Watching billionaires get ripped off is seen by some as one of life’s simplest pleasures, and this past May, it was Jeff Bezos’s turn. The Amazon founder reportedly purchased a bottle of 2015 Dugat-Py Grand Cru, a Burgundy Grand Cru, while celebrating his engagement at Le Petite Maison in Cannes. But despite the fact that the bottle sold for just over $600 at auction in 2022, Bezos coughed up over $4,000 for the vintage. While it is true that restaurants regularly price wine between two and five times its wholesale value, $4,000 is over six and a half times more expensive. We love to see it.
In August, Germany experienced a wave of break-ins committed by a surprising group of perpetrators: drunk, rampaging raccoons. Germans across the country claimed instances of mid-size mammals breaking into their homes and surrounding buildings in search of food and beer. Some homeowners even reported thousands of euros in property damage. It’s not the first time the animals have wreaked havoc on the country’s residents, and we’re sure it won’t be the last.
With its Mimosas, Bloody Marys, and a promise of quelling hangovers, we can understand the appeal of brunch. But apparently some Bay Area diners took bottomless brunch a little too far this year, forcing several restaurants to institute vomit fees. To discourage 20-somethings from tossing their cookies on-site, these establishments imposed a $50 charge for any patron who gets sick in a public space on the premises.
Germans weren’t the only ones to experience intoxicated animals prowling around town this past year. In October, the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department responded to a call from a resident who claimed that a beer-drinking monkey was on the loose in her neighborhood. The patas monkey — known as Momo by his owner, a local man — was spotted drinking several beers from trash cans and accosting a woman. Eventually, Momo was caught inside an empty home by police who turned the primate over to Indianapolis Animal Care Services.
Some people challenge themselves to run a half-marathon as their New Year’s resolutions while others commit themselves to a less fitness-oriented form of marathon — and for England’s 25-year-old John May, that meant drinking 2,000 beers. May’s personal challenge started as a year-long affair, but in April, he decided to cut the time frame to just 200 days. In October, he accomplished the stunning feat on time, downing his 2,000th pint at the Market Tavern in Atherstone. Despite the math averaging out to about 10 pints per day, May claims that he was never once hung over over the course of the roughly six-month challenge.
2023 was the year we learned that there is, in fact, a world record for the most wine glasses stacked on one person’s head. It was also the year that the previous record was shattered by Cyprus resident Aristotelis Valaoritis, who managed to balance nine trays and a stunning 319 glasses — all while dancing — for a whopping 20 seconds. The 62-year-old, who has been glass dancing since 1995, entered into the stacking competition to prove to everyone that he “could still do it.” Cheers to that.
No, they weren’t filming the 800th installment of “Fast & Furious” in France this past November — that was just the French police chasing down two truckloads of stolen Champagne. On Nov. 11, over $650,000 worth of Moët & Chandon was reported missing to French authorities by an anonymous distributor in the Champagne region before the trucks were tracked down approximately 12 miles outside of Paris hours later. After engaging in a high-speed chase, the police were able to successfully retrieve all the Champagne safely, though both drivers escaped the scene and have yet to be identified.
*Image retrieved from Zerbor via stock.adobe.com
