Rolling your eyes at a wine snob might not get rid of him, but it sure does feel good! And here are 50 of the most aggravating, insane, and hilarious moments we could find.
Sometimes the worst wine snob is so full of themselves they can see what they had for breakfast two days ago. And sometimes it comes from them having zero idea what they’re talking about.
We’ve compiled our favorite (if that’s the right word) wine snob moments based on the answers that our readers have given us on social media over the last few months.
We’ve changed the names to protect the innocent, of course. How many are you guilty of?
- “I smell and swirl the water I pour into my wine glass in between tasting.”
- “Systematically point out at least one flaw in each wine at the tasting to the winemakers.”
- “‘I can really smell the 2% of Petit Verdot!‘”
- “Asking for the dosage of a Champagne and turning an upper lip even before tasting it. Why? Because it was not in the current trend.”
- “A wine snob flat-out refused to drink anything from a screwcap. That’s just dumb.”
- “Bring a spitoon with their name on it.”
- “Complain that the floor of our cellar, clearly an operational space and not just a showpiece for customers, was wet.”
- “Swirl and sniff a perfectly good glass of ’99 Canalicchio Brunello before dumping the entire glass without tasting and asking to “move on.””
- “He spoke over the server explaining the wine, and kept referencing having traveled to the region it was from.”
- “Years ago I served a 22-year-old (I carded her) an unfiltered BDX-style wine and she insisted that the sediment was a mistake and that no wines of any kind ever had it.”
- “A couple brought their own glasses to a $0.10 tasting at BevMo.”
- “They presumed to tell the winemaker how to make wine because they knew better.”
- “When someone tells everyone at a tasting not to taste a wine because it’s just no good, based on his/her own personal taste.”
- “Was pouring at a show, the person tasted a Sauvignon Blanc and insisted it must be Clone No. so and so for about 5 descriptive minutes. Badgered me if I could confirm it. I checked later, and they were wrong, which made me happy.”
- “Brought their own bottle to show how much better it was than the featured wine.”
- “Had a guy proclaim loudly to the customers tasting that he only drinks Cabs. Then he pulled up a pic of the custom license plate stating the same sentiment on his fancy Porsche. He showed everyone there, of course.”
- “Wine waiter sniffed the cork of a very tainted wine and told me there was nothing wrong with it. They refused to smell the actual wine.”
- “Busting out an Excel spreadsheet of their “cellar” on their iPhone to explain to me that they can’t buy a new Cab Sauv because they “have a lot of 05’s to go through.””
- “At a tasting room i was pouring at a woman walked in and stated she didn’t like sweet wines. I knew there was an excellent sweet Riesling with great acidity to offset it on the menu. When it came time for the Riesling I said nothing as I poured it. She sampled it and LOVED IT! I couldn’t resist so I mentioned that it had 3.7% residual sugar. She picked up the glass, dumped it in the dump bucket and said sternly to me ‘I told you I don’t like sweet wines.’”
- “A wine critic got up in the middle of the room and started smelling the air and saying louder and louder, “There’s a smell, there’s a smell! Someone is using perfume, someone used scented after-shave. You are not supposed to use that!!!””
- “I saw a sommelier sniff the screw cap.”
- “A man who thought he knew all about Amarone because he’d been to one winery before and had rented a villa for two weeks out there was insistent that all 7 bottles of an extremely well known producer were “off.””
- “They adopted a very poor French accent while mispronouncing French words. And worse, pronounced English words as if they were French in the same dodgy accent.”
- “Someone told me it was a windy season because he could taste dust on the grapes.”
- “I’ll drink anything but Chardonnay; I’m an ABC girl.”
- “Refusing to taste anything but the “flagship wines” during my wine tasting when I worked for a wine producer in Barbaresco.”
- “I’ve done tastings at my place of work. I get annoyed when customers ask which specific region of California is the Cab they are trying from. Once I say something other than Napa, I can sense their opinion changing by looking at their faces.”
- “It really tickles me when they offer to ‘teach me’ something and provide completely inaccurate facts.”
- “I was once at a co-worker’s wedding and her boss was also in attendance. We sat at the same table. During dinner, he declined the wine served by our hosts and pulled his own wine from a bag (good vintage, classified growth, mature Bordeaux), which he and his wife drank. They did not offer any to the rest of the table, or to our hosts.”
- “A couple asking at every winery if they “scrape the leaves” to every tasting room staff’s bemusement. If not, the wine was not up to standard for them to try. After 3 unsuccessful winery visits I realized they wanted to say “stir the lees” and had no idea what that even was.”
- “I recall once a person coming into my wine shop, asking for a Ferrari Carano Fumé Blanc. I did not have a bottle in stock, so I steered her to another, similar barrel-aged Sonoma County Sauvignon Blanc. The woman was INSISTENT that I give her a Fumé Blanc, because, and I paraphrase, “I don’t like Sauvignon Blanc!””
- “The smelling of armpits to cleanse the “nose palate.””
- “Someone asked if I was pouring a Cabernet. I said I was. A Cabernet Sauvignon. She said “No, I just want a Cabernet.” I said are you asking for a Cabernet Franc? She looked at me as if I was an idiot and said, “Cabernet: there is a difference between Cabernet Sauvignon and Cabernet without Sauvignon and you obviously don’t know the difference.’”
- “A friend’s husband only drinks Pinot Noir and won’t touch Grenache. I then watched him order Chateauneuf du Pape.“
- “My parent’s friend (an Italian) upon hearing I opened a Spanish wine bar, proclaimed Rioja is mere “grape juice.””
- “35 years ago a man ordered a Veuve Clicquot rosé. After tasting the wine he asked to pour some in an ashtray for his poodle. “Yes, the dog normally drinks port, but Champagne is also ok.””
- “I hate people who come to my table at a big tasting, stick their glass out and say, “I just want to taste whatever is most expensive.“”
- “Moan that the food wasn’t paired correctly when it was more than adequate and there were two choices of wine with each course. Every course. Six courses, wine club dinner.”
- “A table of 4 men ordered a bottle of Krug and used it as an ashtray without even pouring any.”
- “I only drink French wines.”
- “It’s okay, but doesn’t hold up next to the Château (insert $2000 name here) I’m holding at home.”
- “Someone sniffing with only one nostril.”
- “Lick the glass.”
- “Was at a sit down tasting of some high end California Cabs. The dude across from us said “Whoa: there’s so much oak in this wine! Wait while I pull the splinters out of my teeth.””
- “I was pouring at a recent wine fest and a half-sauced woman and her friend came up. I poured her a beautiful Rhône Viognier and she turned up her nose in disgust. A few minutes later she’d forgotten she tried it and asked for it again. This time? Positively delighted.”
- “I witnessed someone vomit into the dump bucket after tasting way too much wine. He then gave the tasting notes of a regurgitated Cab Franc, and proclaimed it was better the second time around.”
- “Come to my winery and smugly say that they know the owner. To my face. And I’ve never met them.”
- “After sipping the wine going into a public wine rant more similar with an actor doing a Shakespeare monologue at the Globe Theatre.”
- “They told me that American wine is ‘for lesser palates.’”
- “I swirled so aggressively and close to my face during a class that I spilled wine all over myself.”
The irony is that most wine snobbishness comes from pure ignorance. So don’t let a wine snob ruin your good time!
What are some of your most memorable wine snob moments? And to all the snobs out there who recognize themselves in some of these stories, remember: lighten up!
