Dear Annie: A few months ago, my wife of four years went out for drinks with her girlfriends and did not return home till the next day. She had told me repeatedly she was coming home but never did, and when she did come home, her story as to why she was gone overnight was flimsy at best. I went behind her back to verify with a friend/bar owner where she was that night, what time she left, and with whom, which I know was an overreach. She had never given me a reason to doubt her prior. I should have gone straight to her and asked, and I have since then apologized.
In the months since that point, my wife has been extraordinarily distant from me and constantly asks for space. I’ve done my best to accommodate those requests, but sometimes she’s gone for hours. Sometimes she comes home at 7 a.m., sometimes not until the next day and, even a few times, not for multiple days. When I ask where she’s going or when she will be home, she makes it seem like I’m interrogating her and says, “This is the reason I need my space,” but I feel it is unfair to expect a partner to give such a wide berth with no follow-up whatsoever.