DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our son is in his mid-30s and is a successful artist and businessman with a wonderful career. However, he has really terrible table manners, in spite of our efforts throughout his childhood to teach him otherwise. (His sibling has no such issues.)
He eats with his mouth open much of time, leans over the table onto his elbows, rushes through his meals and doesn’t engage with others while eating.
He has had a succession of delightful girlfriends through the years, but they have all opted out after a number of months, and we feel that his manners cannot but have contributed to these relationship failures.
Since he became an adult, we have not talked to him about this, but we keep wondering if there is anything we can do to help.
GENTLE READER: If you can stomach it, the most tactful way to put it would be to blame yourselves, saying, “We have failed you as parents and are worried that your table manners are holding you back.”
Then Miss Manners recommends you gently guide him toward closing his mouth and listening while he chews. She further warns you to resist the urge to add, “This is why no nice girl will stay with you,” or the classic “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” — however tempting it may be.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
